A BLACK MAN'S STATE OF MIND
I write this simple message for those I leave behind. I hope my words provide a window into my current state of mind. I am a black man. I have a small family, and we live a comfortable life. I have never been on welfare, and I do not abuse my children or wife. I faithfully follow every law; I don't dope up, drink, or even swear. I have never owned a gun, and I treat all God's creatures with great care. I attend church every Sunday, and I pray for our country every day. I volunteer at homeless shelters and participate in the local P.T.A. Two months ago I was stopped by a racist operating under a cop's badge. He physically pulled me out of my car insinuating that there were drugs in my bags. I told him I was innocent, but he pulled his gun and dropped me to my knees. I felt like I was warped through time and living as a slave who wasn't free. He started searching my bags and realized there was nothing to be found. He then smiled wickedly and said, "Boy you're lucky, get your ass up off that ground!" The cop gave me a warning. He called me boy and never used my name. He claimed I had been stopped because I was observed driving strange. I got home and told my wife and children and embraced them really tight. We took to our knees and thanked God for getting me home safe that night. Last month the news flashed a report about a man shot by the same cop. He was an 18-year-old black man driving a car his dad had recently bought. The racist cop claimed the young man fought him and pulled out a gun. He said he shot him in the back because the man was shooting on the run. The young man was going to college; he played basketball and had a full ride He was also his graduating class valedictorian and tutored kids on the side. His father tearfully claimed that his family had never owned or used a gun. His son was simply headed to a graduation party to have some well-deserved fun. My mind started racing as I reflected on my horrible night. I could have easily been that young man; shot dead with no one in sight. I decided to come forth and file a complaint, but nothing was ever done. They said it was too late. The cops got away with killing that father’s only son. Now, I teach my kids to be mindful of where they are. I tell them to keep their hands visible as they leave the car. I tell them to take a mental picture of the officer's name and badge. I warn them to listen and follow directions to avoid the officer getting mad. I tell them that it is not cowardice. They are simply trying to avoid an isolated fight. I simply want them to make it home like I did on that scary night. I decided to write this message for those I leave behind. I want to leave this writing that shows a black man's state of mind. You see I am a law abiding citizen no matter what is proposed or shown. If I die at a cops hand...I was taken for no reason from my family and my home. I have never fired a gun. I am not a thug that does or deals illicit drugs. I have always treated everyone with compassion. I was never afraid to love. So, if I am shot or murdered and they claimed I crossed the line: Use this as a testimonial of this black man's state of mind. © 2013 Eddie Phillips
