A Worthless Game

In the bottleneck of my feelings, I know that this is wrong. It’s a game of lust and control; I am the fool that plays along. Again and again, I offer myself in this horny painful game. Night after night, I lay here open, begging to be slain. My tears fall in rapture and then continue to fall from guilt. He stabs me with his dagger; I cry and quiver when I feel the hilt.

He infects me with his poison, and it churns and burns my soul. I am filthy, shameful, and broken; I feel totally alone and unwhole.

I have a myriad of problems; they allow his torture to be my world. He steals my blind devotion; I am more his whore than his girl. I allow him to take my worth; he leaves me to writhe in neglected pain. My friends and family call me stupid, but every night it stays the same. He takes me to bed and breaks me; he roughly spreads my love apart. He creates a decoupage of lust, as he cuts and coats my love like art. After every single submission, he gets dressed and quickly leaves. He never inquires about my feelings; he never asks about my needs. He leaves me a few dollars, an empty kiss; then he walks away. I am left here feeling worthless; awaiting the next time he will come to play.